Meet me.. in Montauk...

breakfast a glass of water

Lunch = half avocado + one bottle of water

Dinner = 2 bread and avocado spread + one bottle of water

Yesterday was great..the workout was really great! thumbs up! I did 200 punches and running on treadmill for 20 minutes and jogging for 20 minutes..that was awesome..beyond awesome to me.

A friend of mine..a male asked me why I need to be so skinny? I am already skinny..he once told me my hand is so skinny. I told him, it’s because I feel fat..It doesn’t matter to me if you feel I’m thin, slim, healthy etc, what important here is How I feel about myself? it’s not how you feel about me.

I discussed with a girl friend, we think people don’t understand why sometimes us want to lose weight so much because they don’t know what we eat, they are not with us all the time. They don’t understand the feeling of craving for sugar everyday. For me, if I don’t eat a piece of chocolate or anything sweet one day, I will feel stressed..I cannot focus on what I’m doing..I feel something is wrong or missing. I know what I eat, I know what food I take and I know what I do is radical but I cannot get rid of the feeling of guilty eating too much chocolate and fast food this week. eating one whole block of choc for breakfast is just too much! :(

I don’t want to wake up one day and look at the mirror and find myself has gained weight. Weight-gain does not happen in one day, so it is better I workout now then regret about not doing anything to control my weight later.

I experienced a few symptoms of not eating well, like I feel to throw up every now and then and also, waking up in middle of night feeling so exhausted..I believe it will get OK soon! my body will adjust to this, my body WILL LISTEN to me.

Breakfast none.

Lunch = one bottle of water and a slice of avocado.

Dinner will be the same as lunch.

going to gym for two hours. I need to do this to compensate all the chocolate I ate past 4 days.

by the way,

I find it creepy when you said ” I have a feeling you are going to be here, so I come here and find you” OK..that’s a bit scary. So I move to the highest level.

maybe it’s the hormone also. It’s going to be ok soon.

My favourite words are of course and OK if you don’t know yet.

off to uni.

x

The only way for me not eating chips everyday is by staying at home and not going to uni, but stay at home means eating chocolate everyday. I just finished one whole bar of cadbury hazelnut this morning..and not to mention I ate a slice of chocolate cake before I went to bed and one more slice when I woke up..

I’ve been eating KFC wicked wing alternate days, last saturday, monday, tuesday (oops!) and wednesday..ok! I have a serious problem here! and I haven’t go to the gym  for a week.

If I don’t watch my food intake I definitely going to gain massive amount of weight by the end of this month.

So I’m going to do something radical, everytime I go to uni I won’t take any money with me, just my uni card cos I’m gonna have to use it for printing..so I won’t waste my money buying fast foods like crazy..I’m going to take one bottle of mineral water and one fruit with me..I will train my tummy to adjust to this sudden change and it will get used to it within few days

and I know I won’t cook at home cos I’m just too busy with other things at home, so that’s nice part of staying at home. No more stocking up chocolate at home, Chocolate is not main dish for breakfast/lunch/dinner..OK OK

I’m going to boxacise class Friday evening!

I was on the phone with my dearest mummy just now. I miss my parents. she told me about my whole family shopping spree. I’m green with envy.

But not bad, she did buy a thing for me. hehe. Talking to mummy relieved all the stress I had just now. Well not really a massive stress, but small things that make me stress.

On the other hand, PMS don’t come now..not yet. I don’t need you now..oh wait..I never need you..I don’t want to make any decision when I’m on PMS because when the hormones go wild, I’m not me..I am completely a different person..can be very emotional and sensitive..

oh yeah, there’s a person who’s being so sensitive as my baby brother..

Don’t criticize my youngest brother, He may not talking to me for days..now I just found someone alike..god! nak gurau sikit pon tak boleh! main-main je lah..bukan serious pon..tu pon dah merajuk..rasa macam nak cekik je..ntah la..malas ah..j#@FIEo#*&#!! Damn you motherchucker!

I won’t talk to you until you talk to me..i’ll not surrender.

ok..now i need to study like crazy..have one last test before the semester ends. Ganbate-ne!

<3